Solitude
As I was sitting there, by myself, on that gloomy June night, I thought of our perpetual goal seeking behaviour. I thought of time, and of sorrow. I thought of mistakes and regrets and to my surprise I realized that I was in fact smiling. Yes, smiling! One might ask for what...
Well, when I found out that there was in fact a huge fucking grin on my face I immediately turned "stone-face" of course. It was quite interesting though... The tunes from that calm track in Master of Reality played over and over in my head and I had to pause the movie I was watching (Funny People), after which my lowly smile turned into the greatly revered face of the desperate madman. Oh yes! The only reason I had for not making my three day streak a four day one was simply because fear of the loss of control. The next real phase of my plan won't take
place in a week or so, I'll have football to accompany me until then... Let's just hope that's enough
Also, movies these days make a greater impact on me than they used to. Scenes, previously seen as corny and cliché suddenly stand out as the most prominent parts of the movie. Jesus, what's happening to me... I this the life experience they're all talking about? Oh well
In my mind I know all of this. That's the most frustrating part! I see the shackles, the chains and the iron bars! I see the keys, but I just can't reach them. I can read my own actions; trace them back to their origins, but I can't fucking do anything about them. Strength...
but for what, eh? For what... It's easier just to succumb because in the end, there is no escape... none at all
unless
unless I believe
adieu
[You're never going to be happy, because you're always gonna be stuck with yourself. Unless somehow, you can get away from You, you're always gonna be miserable George]
Funny People was actually a great flick. It was quite obvious what they were going for, but the effect was quite different than expected. myes myes.. lovely
The desert wanderer turns his gaze to the sky, praying for one single tear to fall from the great heavens. The lone sailor turns his gaze to the distance, praying for a humble island to appear.
contrasts
question!
Who would you rather be:
An extremely successful author, greatly acclaimed and widely appreciated. You wrote three books in your mid-twenties (you're 64 now), and you have won the nobel prize in litterature. You have a grand mansion in some sunny beach and all your needs are taken care of, be it hookers, alcohol, cars, whatever. You live your life in abundance and everything is awesome. You've loved several girls but you cheated on them all and you genuinely regret it and wish for all of them to come back.
You're an average dude working at Wal-Mart in your mid-thirties. Not much is going on in your life, as all your friends "grew up" and there's no one left to get crazy with, so you work as much as you possibly can. You have already made plans for what you are going to do when you retire and they all include sitting at a beach and not worrying... The thought have never crossed your mind that you already can't find anything to do with the little spare time you have, and so you hold on to these naive dreams. You're in love with a person who works in
the same department as you do, but you've barely even gotten a "hello" out of that person. However, in your mind you have created great scenarios and adventures in which you would save that person or take herhim on a great journey and that heshe would love you forever.
oh shi- they're the same dood
Essentially: Surrounded by abundance, or chasing an unreachable dream.
Well, when I found out that there was in fact a huge fucking grin on my face I immediately turned "stone-face" of course. It was quite interesting though... The tunes from that calm track in Master of Reality played over and over in my head and I had to pause the movie I was watching (Funny People), after which my lowly smile turned into the greatly revered face of the desperate madman. Oh yes! The only reason I had for not making my three day streak a four day one was simply because fear of the loss of control. The next real phase of my plan won't take
place in a week or so, I'll have football to accompany me until then... Let's just hope that's enough
Also, movies these days make a greater impact on me than they used to. Scenes, previously seen as corny and cliché suddenly stand out as the most prominent parts of the movie. Jesus, what's happening to me... I this the life experience they're all talking about? Oh well
In my mind I know all of this. That's the most frustrating part! I see the shackles, the chains and the iron bars! I see the keys, but I just can't reach them. I can read my own actions; trace them back to their origins, but I can't fucking do anything about them. Strength...
but for what, eh? For what... It's easier just to succumb because in the end, there is no escape... none at all
unless
unless I believe
adieu
[You're never going to be happy, because you're always gonna be stuck with yourself. Unless somehow, you can get away from You, you're always gonna be miserable George]
Funny People was actually a great flick. It was quite obvious what they were going for, but the effect was quite different than expected. myes myes.. lovely
The desert wanderer turns his gaze to the sky, praying for one single tear to fall from the great heavens. The lone sailor turns his gaze to the distance, praying for a humble island to appear.
contrasts
question!
Who would you rather be:
An extremely successful author, greatly acclaimed and widely appreciated. You wrote three books in your mid-twenties (you're 64 now), and you have won the nobel prize in litterature. You have a grand mansion in some sunny beach and all your needs are taken care of, be it hookers, alcohol, cars, whatever. You live your life in abundance and everything is awesome. You've loved several girls but you cheated on them all and you genuinely regret it and wish for all of them to come back.
You're an average dude working at Wal-Mart in your mid-thirties. Not much is going on in your life, as all your friends "grew up" and there's no one left to get crazy with, so you work as much as you possibly can. You have already made plans for what you are going to do when you retire and they all include sitting at a beach and not worrying... The thought have never crossed your mind that you already can't find anything to do with the little spare time you have, and so you hold on to these naive dreams. You're in love with a person who works in
the same department as you do, but you've barely even gotten a "hello" out of that person. However, in your mind you have created great scenarios and adventures in which you would save that person or take herhim on a great journey and that heshe would love you forever.
oh shi- they're the same dood
Essentially: Surrounded by abundance, or chasing an unreachable dream.
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