more productive
thats kinda where my problem lies
adieu
Jesus
s . s . s furthermore, I do not wish to.
I wrote a little thingy yesterday... anyhow here goes nothin':
Necessities
He hated them more than anything
He constantly reassured himself of his contagious contempt
Not one would go unaffected by this hatred
Not one would see through it
He hated their routine
They responded in kind
He hated even more
They would respond in kind
soon enough...
The man started dreaming
He made his decision
He was to overthrow them once and for all
He was to rebel and destroy
He was to be notorious and reputed
First, he needed be in good health
He needed food and he needed sleep
He needed warmth and he needed comfort
Only the nemesis possesed such things
He had no choice
It was a necessary evil
Then he needed education
No rebellion was possible without wisdom
The only source of this was his omnipotent enemy
He told himself he would infiltrate and unravel
He told himself that it was a necessary evil
Finally, he needed money
No rebellion was to be done without fundings
He would work for them and he would provide for them
He saw himself a leech, they saw him a sheep
All of these were, of course, necessary evils
He let his ravaged hands stroke across his rinkled face
He was old
He was weak
Every breath he would take was filled with love and acceptance
No longer would he hate, nor would he dislike
He would gently fall asleep
as the ghosts of the past would try to reach him
Terrified, the man woke up from his dream
He saw clearly now
There was only one thing that could hurt them
He smiled as the knife slit his throat
Only now, would he be free
To can't
all i can do is to listen to music and do school-work...cant think
is this the end? am i being sucked away from my self into the abyss of the sheep....well, at least ill be happy
my being miserable can only be cured in two ways: sheepifying or some exposure to fierce bloody rebellion...
let me be drowned in your blood, wicked members of the human race. Let my blood mix with yours...
let me bathe in it
...and then he fell asleep with his face distorted with sleepy wrath
- also, we're only truly happy when we drink milk...(and no i don't mean symbolical mother's milk, I mean regular goddamned milk...but symbolical mother's milk could work to i guess)
The Bird's Wings
btw, im thinking of making a third short story having a title containing the word "bird" in it..... it would be a nice trivolumus...
anyhow, here goes nothing:
The Bird's Wings
The bird woke up caged and fright. As it tried to flap its wings it felt the cold, rusty steel of its chains carving fleshy wounds in its coulorful wings. It shrieked as it realised the sheer hopelessness of its attempts to break free.
Exhaustion took its treacherous hold of the bird and only pain kept it from falling into eternity. The bird looked up through the steel bars separating him from the outside world and and he saw them arrive.
They surrounded the cage staring at the wounded bird with curious eyes. They all struggled to get a good view of the frightened bird trying to fight its rusty warden without any luck. The spectators were noticeably calmed down by the fact that there were bars preventing them from the monstrosity in the cage.
When finally the bird was emptied and all the blood had made its way down to the cold, barren floor of the steel cage , the previously curious faces of the spectators changed and turned into the determined faces of a killer.
Suddenly the cage provided comfort. Its bars served as walls and the cage itself as a sanctuary against the hungering eyes trying to reach the bird. The feathered prisoner barely reacted when one of the spectators pulled forth a key giving it the gift of freedom, a gift he would have sacrificed everything for before his incarceration.
The cage dissolved and the bird was now exposed to the cold hands of the spectators. It embraced their warm, loving touch as it joined them in their cage, somewhat smaller that its previous one.
The Bird's Nest
It is never before publish and it still needs alot of work...I am worried that my ending is a little unclear as to what happens. Bomb me with suggestions please...
The bird's nest
This was a time of change. He could feel it in the air. All which had been familiar was suddenly changing. The wall of fog which had separated them from the world beyond slowly dissolved before his eyes. This process had been going on for a while until one day, the wall was completely gone and all that remained was the misty remnants of it. He gazed upon the newly exposed world and saw that it was beautiful. Vast, seemingly endless, landscapes lay before him. Huge mountains penetrated the clouds above. Enormous oceans coloured blue by the sky lay grand and welcoming. There were wild animals roaming the lands in search of food. Food, which had been strewn out to such an extent that it seemed perpetual. Yet the animals did not cease their search. He looked back. The world that he was still a part of had not altered, as had been the case for ages. The same huge building complexes. The same narrow streets. The same dull smiling faces floating in the sky, monitoring him from their elevated position. The same ants marching their same routinous march doing their share of work for the greater good. This place had been his home for as long as he could remember. It had nurtured him, cared for him and loved him. But there was a price to be paid. And he had certainly paid it.
As he saw the ants marching their never ending march he made his decision. He leapt over the vast pit of darkness that kept the two worlds apart. He was slightly afraid of what he was going to witness. His fear, however, was for nought. He was filled with a sensation he had never felt before. He felt as though a bird finally allowed to flap its beautiful wings, and the chains pulling him down were no more. He ran, like he had never run before. He felt the warm breeze on his face and he was filled with pure happiness. He plunged into the ocean and swam with the various sea creatures that could be found there. He climbed up the huge mountain and when he reached a point where the thin air would normally make it impossible for him to breathe, he proceeded, without difficulty.
As the man enjoyed the full extent of his freedom something terrible caught his attention. Behind him was his old home, the only home he had ever known. He had run for a long time and it seemed that the pathway between the worlds had followed him. The mind numbing calm and safety of the old world called upon him with deceptive tales of happiness, but he saw through the evil and turned to walk away. To his fear he realized that his feet were immobile. He could not move. When he struggled to break free, his previous home started to change. The narrow streets were polluted with streams of dark blood, the buildings were engulfed in monstrous flames and the calm smiling faces were distorted with terrifying rage. The ants broke their routinous march and engaged in fierce combat, fighting their very brethren and feasting upon their fallen. The pathway shrank. Chaos surrounded him. The plains burnt away, the mountains levelled and the oceans dried out. The animals as well changed as they were subject to the rage of the world beyond. They developed red blazing horns and fierce jaws filled with pointed teeth. They turned their hunt upon one another and what had earlier been a peaceful harmony turned into a fiery bloodbath.
The panic he had felt earlier was releaved. The surroundings calmed down and all was peace again. Something, however, was different. He did not remember the floating faces in the sky being in the outside world. He also thought he remembered there being different animals other than ants out here in the free world. He disregarded these feelings immediately and continiued living in his free world being as content with life as any other ant.
To the west, it was noticed, that a huge wall of fog had been created.
Atheism- A non prophet religion
Thus far I have worked dilligently in the creativity-department, however, without variation...I feel I should not fear the pencil or the instrument...but I do.
However, fear not comrades, for I shall not dissapoint you, I shall grasp for the virtual pencil and do my best in completing a work of art that has been stuck in my head for a while...(I would've rather chosen the instrument but it is not practical for a guy without pay(or leisure for that matter...god children are such slaves) to be getting expensive things) (yes you saw me, i just did a sentence within a sentence within a sentence, bitchiz)
photosh00p...I have feared thee enough, here I come!
God this will suck...
And to make up for my future shittiness I shall be re-uploading old poems and short-stories(rewritten and improved) as time goes by....maybe i'll throw somethin new in as well
adieu
also some small texts on value and worth/superiority coming up in the fuchurr
.$.
And they bleated along
To their never ending song
The strings are redundant to the sheep of this world
I'm in heaven right now. Melodrama is flowing through my veins.
Beauty
Chronicles of Youth
this is the same shor story as before, improved. I've removed a couple of elementary errors and rephrased a couple of sentences.....anyway
Chronicles of Youth
The young man stopped to fill his lungs with fresh, unpolluted air as he was continiuing on his journey. The road was covered with ice and the orange electrical light of the street lamps illuminated it, creating dancing sparkles across the frozen pavement. The cold had slowly been wearing him down and he was now deep within its realm. He was content. The young man enjoyed the thrilling sensation of physical pain, it seemed benevolent in comparison to the alternative. As always, the music accompanied him, brightening his perception of the world, rendering it almost a habitable place.
The house had now appeared in the distant, barely distinguishable from the other uniformed buildings in the area. Even from this distance it was impossible to disregard the gloomy light, streaming out of the house's many windows. He desperately sought a reason for the lights being on that in some way differed from the obvious. "Maybe she is asleep and she forgot to turn off the lights" he thought, knowing that this was but a futile dream. He took a deep breath and went on.
He reached the front door without any further complications. He knew what waited behind that door. He had imagined several different scenarios in which he would come home undetected, all of them naïve and futile. The frozen door knob let out a squeeling sound destroying whatever chance he had of slipping past her. As the door opened, warm air flowed, as if to stop him from entering. After one final moment of resolution, he stepped over the threshhold separating the warmth from the cold. There she was, a couple of metres in front of him. She had been made aware of his coming by the treacherous door knob and she was smiling at his direction. Horror. He pretended that he had not noticed her over-sized grin and began forcing his clothes off of his body. "Hi" She said with that rutinous sound of a church bell, forcedly rung by a greater power. He tried to answer but the words would not make the short distance between his mind and his tongue. She looked at him awkwardly and after a few moments, when he had let out a moaning murmur of words, she nodded in agreement and her eyes were drawn back to the TV. He gently stepped into the living room and headed for the sofa. He looked at her. Her mind was currently absent as her blank eyes stared into the TV. This television set had been running as long as he had remembered. It did not make a difference whether it was night or day, cold or warm. Always would this hellish machine run, penetrating his ears with loud incoherent voices all claiming their fabricated feelings. He was too tired to move, so he decided to stay a bit longer, it seemed the torture would not be too intense this particular day. His eyes were drawn to the TV, showing some unfathomably stupid people walking about talking about nothing. The ecstacy of non-existance took hold of him as his thoughts and emotions were rendered inactive.
The numb silence was interrupted by the words, which were sure to come sooner or later. The words "How was your day" had been uttered so many times in this room that the very walls were shriekingly begging her to stop, but she bestowed upon them no mercy. The words had been spoken. He looked at her once again, this time inspecting her thoroughly. He studied her bloated features and her deeply rinkled face. To think that she had been different. She had been like him, young, enterprising, dreaming. All had been lost in this intellectual anomaly that was sitting in front of him, patiently waiting for the answer. This was how it all ended up. In the end, you cannot escape the decline of the creative mind, for the human society is its worst enemy, a foe, you could not take lightly. The body will consume the mind sooner or later.
Once again she asked him how his day had been, as if though he had not heard her the first time, and once again she was left without an answer. Then came the second horrific line of words, that had echoed in this same living room day after day. "What's wrong, is it a girl?". That was it. He rose up and screamed with all his might: " Fuck this! Fuck all of this!" and he grabbed his clothes and his most valued possesions, opened the door in a fierce manner, and slammed it behind him letting forth an orchestra of sounds. It was to this beautiful music he danced away. They both knew, that this was the last time the walls would ever have to suffer through those horrid words. The bloated warden had not turned her gaze from the TV and it had not turned its gaze from her.
1984......................Brave new world
My English-teacher is a god....
I'm going to write a comparative essay between these two wonderpieces and I was asked to pick out keywords for each book (no spoilers ahead)
This will only make sense to those who've read them ofc
Brave new world:
-Utopia
-Hypnopaedia
-Conditioning
-Embryostore
-Genetic manipulation
-Happiness
-Freedom
1984:
-Thought police
-Telescreen
-Newspeak
-Ingsoc
-Reality
-Power
Redemption. . .
God, there's so much to say.
Ok, so almost everyone is afraid of dying. Especially in the younger ages, I presume. What I mean to say now is that this fear is, though perfectly logical from our perspective, quite strange. What is it really that we fear? The death of our psyche, right? I mean the fear of physical death would be quite stupid. I mean, you don't define your persona as a compilation of arms and legs rather than one of several personalities. So what we fear is our personality dying or disappearing. Here comes the problem:
Are you the same person that you were 5 years ago? (the number five isn't important, just hear me out here ok) Most of you would say no. Doesn't that mean that the person you were 5 years ago died? You might say: no, that would mean my personality altered, not died. To this I say: If you change, that means you are different than you were before, i.e the one you were before does not exist anymore.
Better yet, we are just a compilation of thoughts and personalities, so that means that for every new thought that arrives in our minds we change, or "die" if you will.
Think about it, this is what death really is about, one final change from everything to nothing.
Even better yet, some 1984 knowledge for ya. Everything we perceive exists solely within our heads. You see, there are no laws of nature and no reality. Everything exists within our minds, and if we exercise enough mindpowarrrz we could change our reality. This also means that you, my readarrr, does not exist other than in my mind. And if I want you to cease to exist, I could accomplish that, with enough practice that is. Those people are deemed insane by our society.
And if reality exists solely within us, than every change in our surrounding could be seen as dying. You see, the past does not exist, nor the future. Which means time is futile. And with every infinately small change in time we die and we are reborn.
Technically, it is impossible to be afraid of death. Also, fear is a chemical illusion. Time does not exist....nothing does
Metropolis of arrogance
OK, so basically I'm still in the capital of capitalism, if you will. The centre of industrial imperialism and the metropolis of arrogance.
I shall write to thee (I assume not more than one person reading this so I'll go with "thee")
A couple of things I found to be negative as well as positive about my travel so far.
(Pics will appear on the atrocious site of bdb)
Plusses:
-Asians. There were alot of asians.
-Old epic buildings. They were old... and epic
-More asians. There were more asians.
-Language. They spoke English
-Big Ben. There was the Big Ben.
- Asians! (Yes I've now revealed my strange affliction for anything related to asia; women, food, mystery, coolness. Although the gameshows and such from the atrocious asia-heretic-sellout-son of a bitch-Japan disgust me, still like anime though 8D)
-Metal stores. There were big metal stores. I bought an LZ jacket-thingy.
Negatives:
-Arrogance. They were arrogant
-Rudeness. They were rude.
-Prices. There were high prices.
-Cold. It was cold
-Language. English was raped.
-Capitalism. The inequalities were many
-Racism. Immigrants had a hard time.
And yes, my horny readers, I am aware that my explanations were largly redundant. Your stupidity ruins everything :/
Guys, this was the end of "trivia-week". From now on nothing trivial will be written in this blog. Fuck, I hate my numb-minded days. Byebye, and carry out the revolution!
Remember: It is not desirable for a whole populace to be emancipated.
And off to England
England, the mother of rock. She gave birth to such beauties as the beatles, led zeppelin, deep purple and so on and so forth. England is awesome...I've been to Scotland before but this will be something else...
Well...anyway, As a goodbye to the icy north( not that it's going to be warm in England but ya know) I'll put in this piece of sheer awesomeness:
Sorry for not being all deep n stuff, but hey, I got things to do... adieu
Music..
Music..what a brilliant phenomena..to be able to spread emotions via sounds, not through the words, but through the complexity of the music itself. Oh how wondrous aren't these artists? I'm talking of course, about everyone's saviour and ultimate leader, Rihanna (my god how pathetic am I not when I try to be hip)
No but seriosly.
There are two songs that has affected me severely in the latter days of my life thus far.
The first one, the far most important song in my life is Led Zeppelin's "stairway to heaven". I know, it's a bit cliché but seriously. I first heard this song at the age of 12, right about the time my childhood started dying. This song is the murderer of that abominable child version of me. For that I thank you.
Also, this is the live version from '73. several times better than the original.
Ladies and gentlemen: Stairway to heaven
The second song is a bit more recent. I like to think of this song as the final emancipator. It brought me up to the level above. Great fucking song. Blows your goddamned mind.
Ladies and gentlemen: Journey-Of a lifetime
(And don't judge it by the fact that it's journey..this was before they went gay)
There are of course a whole lot more important songs in my life that don't quite match these two in importance.
Herea are a couple of them:
(note, this is not a compilation of favorite songs, it's rather a list of "life-changers"...
Yes- It can happen
Led Zeppelin- Rain song
System of a down- Forest
Marilyn Manson- Great big white world
Megadeth-Black swan
Megadeth- Tout le monde
Megadeth- Five magics
Pink floyd- Shine on you crazy diamond
Judas Priest-Victim of changes
Audioslave-Be yourself
Deep purple- Child in time
Yes- Sweetness
Yes- I see you
Dream theater- Misunderstood
Dream theater- Home
Led Zeppelin- Gallows pole
Pink floyd- Welcome to the machine
Björk- Oceania
Rainbow- Long live rock n roll
Marilyn manson- Last day on earth
Rainbow- Stargazer
Rainbow- Kill the king
DIO- Dream evil
Rainbow- Temple of babylon
More trivia for the masses
Mind and body really are two different things, are they not. The only way to reach a higher state of consciousness is to get rid of the body. Of course, traits such as feelings and emotions are connected to it..but I guess that's the price we'll have to pay...
Now I'm off. I'm gonna travel to the green manalishi and see what he's got for me. Adieu, fellow proles
its official
hmm I need some trivial shit to get this thing going....
Ok...so, here goes nothing
I look up, staring at the bottom of my bed (I have one of those gay high-up beds) and to my horror I see several red(ish) seed-thingies stuck there. Now, the first thought that springs to my mind is as follows: Is it possible that I have some weird man-stration(get it?) that has somehow leeked through my bed and now visualizes itself in red(ish) stains on the bottom of my mattress?. As the momentary horror passed I realized that it was tomato-seeds from when I ate tomatoes the other day. You know, those small tomatoes which squirt all over the place when you put severe pressure on them...well, this knowledge came to me after my little...accident. Anyhow.. I would've perceived the tomato-seeds staining the bottom of my mattress if I wasn't busy trying to remove those which had, instead of hitting the mattress, hit my right eye.
there's some comic every-day event for ya.
A dialogue of mind
Michael: Oh for crying out loud, would you shut the fuck up? We're fucking fed up with this bullcrap. You could say just about anything in that manner and make it sound deep and as if though its filled with some profound meaning.
Micolus: Just who the fuck are you?
Michael: I'm you, silly. Now listen to my advice and stop writing this nonsence... Have you ever heard of anyone getting popular writing this bullshit. I mean sure, depth had it's audience a couple of hundred years ago but come on, you don't stand a chance against those dudes, they had talent, you on the other hand, do not. Stick to what you know.
Micolus: If my aim was to become famous among the sheep, I would not write what I do. Surely there is no skill in entrapping a herd of mindless fools now, are there. And I have never claimed that I'm skilled in any way, it's just a form of ventilation, you know, cleaning my mind up a bit.
Michael: Is that so? Why is this blog public then?
Micolus: Well, I guess if some random fella would stumble upon my blog, and find it likable, I would consider that success.
Michael: So you do seek approval?
Micolus: Of course, but the approval of sheep does not mean anything...
Michael: You are not a very talented liar, you know
Micolus: I know...
Michael: and I hope you realize that you're not a very talented person whatsoever...
Micolus: I do...
bloggin' away
Then she dies.
And i try to feel. I try to feel the very pain my fantasy is feeling, and if I work hard enough, that pain will manifest itself in the outside world. I feel crushed and helpless. I love it. I savor the moment and taste the sour apple that is life, whereafter I comfort myself and gently fall asleep.
I love fabricated pain...
and yes I'm a sick bastard
Sound of silence
No you've not!
In order to hear the sound of silence you have to be dead! I mean, no matter how quiet you might think it is, it will never get completely silent. The sound of the wind or that of your blood circulating in your veins, or even the sound of your mind creating wondrous illusions. That is why the sound of silence is the most beautiful sound. For death is indeed the most beautiful thing that we will ever experience. Death and love. The only two things incomprehensible to the coldest of minds, undecipherable and unlockable to those with the eye of science.
Now, that youre enlightened, if you are, which you presumably aren't, but i like to think of it as such, i will ask you again
Have you ever heard the sound of silence?
And now, you may say yes.
hello darkness my old friend
Reason for the reason
I've realized something lately. Something of great importance to me. I've realized that to me, reason is important. More than the deed itself. This might seem strange but I actually condemn such things as environmental politics when the carrot of actual empathy has been replaced with that of money. I mean, Im not so stupid that I think that we people have free will or actual empathy in the sense that we care. I mean we are all egoists (and no im not saying that in an ignorant 14-year old's way) We are egoists, simly because we strive to make a better world for ourselves and solve whatever dissonance wwe have within us. But I think it's in some way better to have the illusion of real empathy going, and therefore I hate our environmental politics. I mean, do you realize how much money has been earned from this crap. OHH the world's gon' dieee gief money. Of course the oilcompanies are opposed to this, easily understandable. But it's kinda two brds with one stone because the oil's running out and the replacement for it is soon needed. A science fueled with bloodmoney. REASON is important folks. A murderer who fails to murder its victim should be punished while a murderer who accidentaly kills it and shows extreme regret afterwards should walk free.. and yes i realize that in practice this is impossible. I'm talkin utopia here
It is time
The time to decide whether i must fail or not even though the concept of failure is an illusion itself.
I shall focus on waking the sleeping beauties, those who wish to sleep and rejoice with those awaken.
Decipher me, if you please.
I'm the green manalishi
2010, motherfuckers, that's just how it be
Also, it's 2010, that seems to be a major subject of interest to some, though no important or even interesting astronomical (or otherwise annual repeating event) occurs on the 31 december. But yet it makes a difference, in some way the time that elapses between th 31 december and th 1 january seems somewhat more than the time between any other two random days of the year. I guess this is the end of a decade. The last decade was extremely important in some ways. As the amazing atheist puts it, its the decade of illusion. That is somewhat true. I think people have gone more towards a brave new world. Easily recognizable in such atrocities as 9/11, Enviornmental politics, Obama, EU and so on. The mind is yet more numbed and the age of the stupid is really making its mark. And yes this century ought to be called the age of the stupid or that of the sheep. the 20th century however is harder to name. It's some weird mixture of inventions, wars, peace, love, hate, capitalism, industrialism, awesome music, computers, tvs... i hope the 21st will be as interesting, no doubt it will. the first ten years have been no disappointment from that perspective. But it's getting harder and harder to localize the POI:s when the sheep has taken over media. And outright hate has changed its face to a smiling one. kind of 1984:ish.
It has also, in many ways been a decade interesting to me. I mean, I developed my personality and what not.
Oh shit, school is approaching. I felt the sting of nervousness towards the future presentations-in-class. I hate those. Shit, i was in a middle of a point and then school came and fucked me up. I need to get numb. Or I could try being an übermensch. . . that would be cool. Nervousness is dead for now...I'll await your next arrival mr evil.
Bye now, I'm gonna watch some fullmetal alchemist.
Oh hello again, mr nervousness
and no, I don't expect you to read this ^^
Flee, i have a blog
So yes, I have a blog. How I hate myself right now :). Anyway blog. . . that sounds so unenglish. And while we're at it, note that this is going to be an all-english "blog". And by using this beautiful language i support the future unilanguage movements and the unification of the world into a new world order. I am such a hypocrite :)
I support division! People are so different, yet so alike, and therefore it seems to me a perfect solution to divide the world into a multitude of small village collectives. Imagine! You, living with your hand picked friends, not caring about anything else in the world than the survival of the collective and the love for your fellows. Ahh, that is kinda like communism but better. However, it will bring problems, such as the nonexistance of technology and hygein and so on. Not that it matters in a world, consisting solely of your closest friends. Also, my biggest wish is to kill time. Or in some way stop it. How beautiful the world would be.
Oops, I'm talkin nonsense again... Im kinda tired, not that it's late it's just, you know, my soul is tired, if you will (fuckin corny i know)
Anywho, no one will ever read this shit :)
